The Best Hour of Everyday

I don’t enjoy hearing the sound of an alarm clock at 7 am. It’s the signal to wake up and start the day!… which should be motivating, being that I am alive and all. I’ve been trying to enjoy getting up in the morning, to become motivated for the day ahead of me, but the reality of prying my sleepy eyes apart to the man of my dreams doing the exact same 2 inches away from me, really only motivates me to expand these peaceful minutes we have together into hours. How the irritable feeling the alarm clock brings one second, to the overwhelming feeling of love and compassion that comes directly after, happens in almost the same instant of everyday is truly fascinating, if not all spectacular.

If simply waking up to the day ahead of me is not motivating enough, then waking up to my lover beside me must be. Waking up to a person I truly enjoy sharing every molecule of life with motivates me to be the best me I can be everyday, with or without him. I’ll be the best me waking up and rolling out of bed until the moment we part to start our own day. I’ll go a little deeper in yoga and run the extra mile, because I want to feel good for me and look good for me, but that extra little motivation is for him, too. I’m determined to succeed and do well in school because I want my future to be bright and full of options. I also want to afford a bright apartment we can share with the option of not having roommates. Success means many things, but is my motivation to live a stable lifestyle with him later.

Waking up to him is my motivation to dream big and set goals for my future. Waking up to him means that I will seize the day, and be falling asleep with him later that night.

The alarm clock means wake up. Waking up with him means it’s time to live.

Love, Relationships, and the Irish

This morning I became inspired to write about my Claddagh ring as I read a fresh post from my new favorite, go-to blogger, Confessions of  a Love Addict, which is great because I needed a solid topic for the St. Patty’s day occasion.

For those of you who don’t know, the Claddagh ring is an Irish traditional ring, given as a token of love. You wear the heart facing towards your heart when you are in a romantic relationship, and facing outward when you are free from any attachment or, as we tend to see it today, ‘single’.

I received my authentic Claddagh ring as a Christmas gift from my 100% Irish uncle in 2004. I was fascinated with the ring’s significance and it’s been on my finger ever since. The only times I ever took it off were to do a few 180 switches from ‘single’ to ‘romantically involved’ to ‘single’ etc. One evening about 2 years ago, I broke up with my then-serious boyfriend and immediately began tugging at the ring to make the swap. I felt that this swap would make my statement loud and clear, which it did, but more-so to other people than myself. When my ex boyfriend noticed it a week later, he gave it some sort of mention and I actually began to feel guilty.

I definitely found it kind of interesting that I was defining my love life by the flipping of a ring, and the thought occurred to me that perhaps the ring made my relationship status too loud and clear? So that night, I turned it around one final time. I decided that from then on, I would be romantically involved… with myself. So when people ask about it, which is surprisingly quite often, I tell them that my heart always belongs to myself, but that I am, in fact, very romantically involved (with an amazing, hot, incredibly sexy guy!)

The reason why I found my go-to writer’s post interesting was not because I disagreed with her about her practice of the Claddagh, but rather because I agreed with her. Her excerpt:

“I tucked away the ring in my drawer, having decided I didn’t need anything that defined me by my relationship status. I may sport it again, but if not, it’ll always remind me the universe is always giving love – as long as we’re perceptive enough to see it.”

I will still go on wearing my ring as I do, but gaining this perception gave me a sense of whole satisfaction and appreciation. And also inspiration to write this post!

My roommate is playing Irish music now, and I should probably go out and join him. Tonight I’ll cheer the Irish with some Jameson, happy St. Patty’s day!

“A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step” -Lao Tzu

There’s so much chaos going on all around us that sometimes it’s hard to just sit still and be present. I’m always thinking about schoolwork or the future and where I want to transfer and lately I am so concerned about the future, worrying myself that I am going to be too old by the time I graduate. I want to be graduated and start my career now! Ridiculous right? Sometimes I feed so much energy into what will be instead of what is, that I become severely overstressed, exhausted, and even depressed.

I’ve been practicing yoga for over a year, and definitely not on a daily basis. I’ll take a few classes at the college and go twice a week, or sign up for a month of bikram, or practice by myself at home. I should definitely practice more because over the last few weeks I’ve begun to realize that practicing yoga and meditation consistently keeps me grounded and present. A few sun salutations and 10 or 20 minutes of meditation, turning my mind inward, helps me feel balanced, aware, and happy.

I believe that it is crucially important in life to be in the here and now. I believe this, but I don’t practice this as much as can. As a matter of fact, sometimes when I do catch myself dwelling in the what-ifs and whats-to-come, I don’t stop myself. Perhaps it just takes practice.

It’s also important to practice whatever it is that makes you feel whole. Confident, happy, sexy, brilliant, determined, creative (man, if only this was me all the time!) and the list of these words continues. For me, eating healthy and not over indulging, exercise, dancing, writing, and practicing yoga are a few of them. Whatever is is that does this, do it more often! Seize the day! Make the most of what you do have and don’t dwell on what you don’t have (yet!).

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. -Buddha

 

Feel Sexy Again (a confession)

I’m not gonna lie. Sometimes if I’m feeling down, or not too great on the outside, taking a good snap shot of myself can be just what I need to cheer me up. One of those take-it-in-front-of-the-mirror super smiley or ultra sexy photos. I look at it and I think, ‘See, Breena, you are gorgeous. You can take one hell of a snapshot, so stop feeling terrible!!’

The difference between taking a photo for a confidence boost and taking photos obnoxiously, is that you don’t paste it on facebook for everyone to see. So don’t feel guilty. Just because you don’t have a photographer around you 24/7 to constantly remind yourself how hot you look, doesn’t mean you aren’t a sexy momma (or daddy?) haha, cheers!

Sliding Filament Theory of Contraction

No really, I’m not trying to make any metaphors this time. This is a post about muscle cells and the Sliding Filament Theory of muscle contraction. Boring eh? For the last week I have been studying my ass off for this anatomy exam and I’m sorry but all I can think about are muscle tissues and bones (and a LOT of other stuff). So, really, I have been learning maaaany new things every day, only nothing I would really like to write any posts about… until now.

Yesterday my professor embarrassed me… in front of me! And well, in front of him, too. I have been studying for hours on a daily basis and the one topic I decide to ask him about yesterday, turns out to be a shit-show.

During review yesterday, my table had this model of a tube with many other tubes coming out of it and several layers wrapped around these tubes. My table members kept shouting out different names for the different parts but really, they were all different! I ask them to go slowwwwerrr because I am very confused and this lady, who is reallyhyper and talksreallyfast, starts explaining but someone else cuts in, “No, no this is epimysium!” and I’m like okay screw this I am asking him, our professor, what the hell we are looking at.

I scoop up the model and take it to his desk.

“Dr. Egert”, I politely ask, “I just have a few questions. Everyone in my group thinks everything on this model is something different and I,  myself, don’t even have a clue. What the hell am I looking at?!”

Pointing, he replies, “Okay, so what do we call this?”

Blank. “Endosteum?” I guess.

He gives me an expression as if to say ‘are you serious’? “No” he replies bluntly, “that’s bone tissue. This is a muscle cell. They are completely different. This is endomysium.“

“Oh, yeah, that’s what I meant.”

He looks at me questionably.

“Okay, so if that is the endomysium, what is this?”

Blank again.

“Uhhh… I don’t know.” God why is he doing this?! I told him I didn’t have a clue!

“Okay what are all muscles wrapped in?” I think he is getting frusterated.

My brain is searching for any answer but really I just want to turn away.

“I have no idea”, I reply, “like I said, I really don’t have a clue and I don’t know what I am even looking at.”

It doesn’t matter, he wants to know what muscle tissues are wrapped in, not what model we’re looking at. He turns and starts drawing on the board… ‘this goes in here, and this and this’, but I can’t concentrate because I feel like such a fool for not knowing this stuff 2 days before the test, but I’m really trying to hear what he is saying, I really am, but I would really like to go consult the book now instead of looking like a parakeet.

“…see and this is where the muscle fibers wrapped in endomysium are.”

“Okay, thanks, I need to study this a lot more, I just wasn’t sure what model this was, but I think I understand, okay, thanks!”

I need to get away quickly so I start backing away but I can tell he has something else to say.

He is still holding that expression when he says, “Yeah, you don’t want to confuse the parts of the bone with parts of the muscle. Bone stuff tends to end in -osteum, not the muscles.”

Great. My face is hot and I would like to bury my head now. When I go back to the table everyone wants answers and I tell them I don’t know, I’m not even familiar with the terms so I can’t repeat what he said. Now I’ve done it.

Seriously, the ONLY thing that I didn’t study over the weekend.

I was so worked up on this that I came home and jumped right into my book and outlined the text on muscle cells and the Sliding Filament Theory. I made flashcards with all of the -mysium terms and watched endless youtube videos. I will not look like a fool ever again on the Sliding Filament Theory.

Yesterday I was pissed at my professor for making me feel like a complete idiot. This morning I am actually kind of thankful because now I know this topic and it will probably save me a few extra points on the test. I guess sometimes you gotta feel like an idiot to become the expert.

Now for muscle cells and the Sliding Filament Theory.
(If you’re interested this is great, but this is kind of for my own review)

Muscles are wrapped in a dense connective tissue call epimysium. Within the muscle are fascicles wrapped in a fibrous connective tissue called perimysium. Within these fascicles are muscle fibers, or muscle cells, bound by sarcolemma and surrounded by endomysium. These muscle fibers are filled with sarcoplasm, a sarcoplamic reticulum, which stores calcium, many nuclei, and myofibrils. Myofibrils contain sarcomeres, the basic unit of muscle contraction, made of thin filaments called actin and thick filaments called myosin.

With the power of ATP, myosin goes into a “cocked” position, like pulling back a lever. When ATP is released, myosin “springs”, or the lever is released, causing what is called a “powerstroke”.

In detail:
1. Calcium is released from the sarcoplasmic reticulum
2. Calcium binds to traponin, which changes the traponin’s shape, and pulls tropomyosin (which keeps myosin from binding actin) out of the way so the myosin can grab the actin.
3. When the myosin grabs the actin, this causes the “powerstroke” as it pulls the actin closer together. This is the contraction.
4. If calcium is still present, the muscle will keep contracting. Otherwise, if the muscle is at rest, ATP needs to re-cock myosin and have it detach from actin.

And THAT, ladies and gentleman, is what we call the Sliding Filament Theory.

Mysterious Concoctions!

Deep into my anatomy study last night, I caught the warm scent of oatmeal cookies. It lasted just long enough for me to sit upright in my chair and glance around curiously. Strange since I was the only one home. I waited about 3 minutes, waiting for that sweet aroma to fill my nostrils again but it never came. It took me about 5 seconds to decide if my kitchen held all the ingredients to concoct an oatmeal cookie. Oats. Flour. Eggs. Bingo. Or at least that’s what I could remember at the moment.

So I rush into the kitchen, hop onto the counter, and begin pulling down all the baking goods from the top shelf. Ah yes, sugar, a good cookie with definitely need both brown and white sugar. Baking powder and baking soda, I can’t remember which one goes into cookies but at least I have them both! I decide vanilla and cinnamon are good additions. Mmm and salt. I grab the eggs from the fridge, and some butter.

So I have all of these ingredients in front of me and I literally start scooping flour and oats and sugar into the bowl with a one cup measure. I think you put baking powder into cookies so I put about a teaspoon in. I add a ton of cinnamon, and pour in the vanilla extract. I crack open 2 eggs and add 2 sticks of butter. Only then do I remember your “supposed to” mix the dry ingredients separate from the wet ingredients, oh well. I mix everything with a fork and the dough is really, really tough, so tough that I can barely mix all the flour and oats in but I manage after 5 or so minutes.

So when everything is good and mixed I drop little balls onto the cooking sheet and throw them in the oven at, well my guess was, 350 degrees.

Well, things were really starting to smell good and that was a good sign. I take them out after 10 minutes and throw in another batch. My intention was to make a very small batch, however I ended up making about 4 dozen cookies… that’s probably what I get for attempting to create “no recipe” cookies on an empty stomach at 6:00 pm. After the first batch is slightly cool I test my creation.

No joke. These cookies are THE. BEST. COOKIES. I’ve ever made. And I, for certain, do not bake often. My boyfriend comes home to the enticing aroma and tries the mysterious golden treat. Did I already say THE. BEST. COOKIES. Ever?

I learned something fun and new and thought I’d pass it on to you, to create something complex whether it be cookies, an exotic dish, lasagna, or whatever it may be, without a recipe. Don’t look for a second. Just gather and go. It’s fun, you use your head and you never know what wonders (or destruction) you are capable of. Had I never tried, “Breena’s Famous Secret Oatmeal Cookie” recipe would still be a mystery! Have fun with it! GO!

Vanilla Ice Cream with a Twist

I tried this interesting new dessert for the first time at a prestigious restaurant in Larkspur called Picco. I couldn’t believe how wonderfully the flavors complimented each other and it instantly became a favorite. So today, or someday soon, treat your taste buds to a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream (Hagen Dazs 5 is the best!). Drizzle with just a teaspoon of olive oil and a pinch of sea salt. It’s new and exciting, and you know you deserve it!